Just as he is

So basketball season began and I feel like there are a few things I want to say about the whole sports/new things and our kid thing:

Know that:  Our son chooses to do this.  He wants to do this.  He is excited about playing.  We are in no way encouraging, forcing, making, or cajoling him into participating in youth sports.  We would be totally cool staying home reading books together or playing in the park on our Saturdays.  It is his choice to try it and we will support him in that choice.  Oddly, even though it sometimes seems tough, he always comes to us telling us how fun and great it was, even when we think it was a hard day.

Know that:  When you see him crying or reserved or sad when he is starting something new it is as hard for us as it is for him or you.  Please though, just love him as he is.  Know we, as parents, are doing our best.  This is who he is and he is wonderful and deeply loved.  New and different things are hard for him.  That is OK.  Aren't they hard for all of us? He and we know how to work through the new together and are constantly learning and adapting - for now some of that process still involves tears, transition, and some painful moments for us all. We always give him a choice to stop at anytime, but he has yet to take us up on it. 

Know that:  We so admire him for continuing to try the new things.  For putting himself out there.  For wanting to be put in the game, not cowering on the bench, as I might.  For being himself.  For taking risks and wanting to be part of a team.  We do not and will not blame others or the circumstances for the challenges he sees in these moments as challenges are part of life and learning how to rise above them is a valuable life skill.

Nothing bad or unusual happened on the first day today.  In fact, it was a better first day than the first several outings of soccer, which lets us think that maybe he is adapting faster or is more comfortable having been put in similar scenarios before.  There were tears, but already by the end of the game he was engaging a little, running a bit more, with the person he was assigned to guard on each trip down the floor, engaging with his teammates on the "bench."  I just feel like I need to write it out.  Mostly, I just feel like I don't want to psycho analyze every moment, please don't ask me to. I just want to have this experience together with him for as long as it lasts. I just want you to know how amazing he is and love him too.  Just as he is.