Miscellaneous Monday

I sometimes have these random things I want to share that aren't really about my family per se, but are of interest.  Usually these go in my "five on friday" posts full of random favorites.  It has been awhile since I've done one of those and have a few things I want to share that are somewhat time limited.  Take a look!

1.  Scary Mommy Thanksgiving Project -- You probably know that food insecurity is one of our ongoing chairities.  We donate monthly to the OK Regional Food Bank, but do try to make an extra effort near the holidays.  This year, we sponsored a family through the Scary Mommy Thanksgiving Project.  They then sent me the background of the family we sponsored.  So heartbreaking, sweet, and I feel so blessed to be able to help.  I hope that some of you can join me or find a similar charity near you.  Yes $50 might be a stretch so give $5 and feed one person.

2. Week in the Life - I've been doing Week in the Life for several years. This is an annual memory keeping exercise with Ali Edwards.  For one week, we closely document the days of our life in all their ordinary every day nature.  This year it is Oct. 27-Nov. 2.  I think it will be extra fun to have it cover our week of Halloween as we're always very busy during this season. I will be using Ali's kit to make a physical book of our week in words and photos, but many people just play along by blogging it as we go.  I invite you to join me in either approach and I'll be sharing here too!

3. We love Pumpkinville at the Myriad Children's Garden.  It is so beautifully done and so very much fun.  I encourage you to check it out now through Oct. 31!  There will be more about our recent visit on the blog soon, but in the meantime, week days are a great time as it is a little less crowded.  They also have pumpkins for sale this year, which we happily took advantage of.

4. Storybook Village -  In other Halloween fun, we are thinking of trying out Arcadia Lake's Storybook Forrest this year.  Have any of you tried it/liked it? Let me know!

5.  30 Days of Thankful - Cathy Z has an annual 30 days of Thankful project to keep gratitude at the forefront of November.  I have sometimes participated and may again this year. Unlike Week in the Life and December Daily, I don't usually do the minibook, but do find different ways to keep daily gratitude in my family's days for November and hopefully make a habit of it.  My plan is just a Scrapbook page with 30 lines to list one thing every day and maybe a facing page with some images.  Who knows, I may just do a blog list or set of impressions, but I do hope to use this or something similar to keep our gratitude project going.  How do you focus on gratitude throughout the year and especially in November?

Ten on Tuesday

1.  I've posted this basically everywhere already, but it still makes me smile.  As E was playing with this hat he stops and says: "Take picture, Mama"  Love it!

2.  The bigs decided to measure themselves by how tall they are compared to the mantel.  Random much?

3.  It is cold here.  Not Arctic cold or anything, but just much colder.  I asked B if he could walk to the bus stop alone for the first time so I didn't have to wake the sleeping baby and take him out in to the cold and he just ran right down the street like there was never an issue.  He rocks.  

4.  I attended the Thanksgiving Feast at B's school again this year.  They are blessed with lots of parent volunteers and lots of food. I was able to help, but also snuggle my guy a bit. I admittedly had a little food too as I realized after PT at 2pm that all I'd had to eat so far was coffee.  I found a granola bar in my emergency minivan stash, but the mashed potatoes were much more delicious. 

5.  E & M went back to Tulsa with me to help pack our annual Operation Christmas Child boxes with friends. The party was smaller this year, but I think perfectly so and everyone had a great time.  Brent and B stayed home for his good buddy Sam's bday party at Laser Quest and a big afternoon of Thanskgiving shopping!  (Yes, I made them a detailed spreadsheet before I left).

6.  The girls had the best time playing dress up and making up their own plays!

7.  E is increasingly convinced that all of our electronic devices are his and that he knows just what to do.  With the laptop, he mostly knows how to turn off and on the mouse....which isn't annoying at all to the next person to pic it up (ummm, right). 

8.  The Jones boys and Aunt Jamie came over for a play date and dinner yesterday.  The kids had a wild time playing before settling in to some quieter legos.  It was only maybe the third or fourth time they've come to our house and the kids loved it!

 

9.  Today I helped out with the Thanksgiving Feast at Mother's Day Out.  This may have been a less good idea as it totally stressed E out for me to be there, but to not be "with" him.  He cried basically any time I went off to help so I mostly carried him around.  M was a little disappointed that I wasn't more focused on her, but did fine.  Overall, it was a very lovely feast and the kids did very well.  I picked them up a bit early to take E to get his flu shot so lots of back and forth from school today.  

10. I attempted to upload the video the kids made with their cousins dancing to "What Does the Fox Say? "  I don't think it worked, but perhaps you can find it at this link instead.  Enjoy!

A Moment

I am going through my June pictures this weekend -remembering, deleting, tagging, uploading.  It isn't my favorite part of the memory keeping process. June was a huge month for photos - nearly three times as many as usual.  Every now and then I stumble on to moments, surprises like this.  I hadn't seen the above before and have no clue who took it.  What is going on is Tracie setting up our family shot at our anniversary party probably just after the pictures of Brent and I alone.  I love the light, the moment and Brent and I just chatting together.  Thanks to the unknown photographer.  Random little moment and images like this make the chore of processing and organizing worthwhile.

- In short, if you find my camera sitting around, feel free to take pictures as we love it!

Thankful Thursdays: Thanksgiving Edition!

This is the eighth and final week in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: 

Today  - I am thankful for Thanksgiving.  The very concept of a day to reflect and give thanks for the blessings in our lives that is celebrated by our entire nation together is truly amazing.  I love the shared values and a little time to think about what is important.

Family - With that in mind, what is important to us, today and always, is family, faith and friends.  We had a wonderful time with the Richards/Rouse crew today with the big boisterous family Thanksgiving filled with the sounds of adults talking and children at play.  It was fun, delicious and filled with ongoing traditions like eating late and Aunt Wanda's beans and new things like a pirate treasure hunt with Granddaddy/Crazy Uncle Bill or kids coloring together while we waited for the meal.  

In the spirit of embracing the day, I lived it as best I can without thinking about what is missing and what is different this year.  I don't want to lose today and these moments with regret or too much sadness.  I remembered and held my family and dad close, but sought joy in this moment too.  At our celebration,  we immersed ourselves in food, family and laughter for today.  We talked about upcoming babies and our crazy kids.  We ate and drank just a bit too much because everything was so delicious.  I am so excited to have another Thanksgiving with my mom and Grandpa Dotter on Saturday.  For some reason, Thanksgiving is a very Dotter holiday.  This time it will be small, but I am really looking forward to it. 

In short, thanks to all the many branches of our family spread across the country.  We are so thankful that you have made us who we are and for all of you and the wonderous richness you bring to our lives. We are thankful for our friends here and everywhere.  You have become a second family and we so appreciate all you are and do.  Thank you finally to God for all the blessings you have bestowed upon us and upon those we love. 

Happy Thanksgiving to all (in this last few minutes).  Hugs and happy thoughts to you on this special day!

Thankful Thursdays

This is week seven in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: Parenthood

Parenthood is a weird and wonderful thing.  It has completely reshaped my life and I am eternally grateful.  I feel like I've been watching parenthood and being thankful for parenthood in many ways this week.  On Sunday, I watched my friends Peter and Bethany celebrate their first year as parents at their daughter Ashtyn's first birthday party.  On Monday, I tried to work on parenting without hurting myself and had to let go and let Brent take over while I napped and let myself heal.  On Tuesday, I let my mom take care of me while I was sick and watch her take care of my kids too while I was in no shape to do so.  I tried to let go of guilt about napping and let my Mom be my Mom and help me heal. (*This is mildly weird if you're familiar with my mom and us being sick... she is not really that in to babying sick folks along, but was quite compassionate and patient with my drug-induced sleepiness even while my children wore her ragged).  Tuesday also brought Jennie and Gavin's very first day as parents to baby Corwyn.  I was so incredibly delighted for them an anxious to meet the new member of our extended crew of a family.  

On Wednesday, Brent's mom came and watched our kids so that we could go welcome the Palfreymans into parenthood.  In that we have a big circle of parenthood.  Brent's parents helping us, their kids, welcome our friends' entry into parenthood.  A big circle of parenting all around.  I adored meeting baby Corwyn.  I have never seen my own children so young or so little.  I was immediately enamored by his tiny feet, soft hair and little adorable head.  I pondered this a minute and, I think, beyond being naturally cute, I love him immediately because I love his parents.  They are each amazing, beautiful people that I treasure having in our lives.  As much as we were going on an unusual date, just the two of us, to meet Corwyn, it was really also largely about welcoming Jennie and Gavin into this next step in their journey together and with us: Parenthood.  

I also think more about parenthood now that my Dad isn't alive to part of my journey.  He would miss us so much whenever we were apart even for a few days.  I can't begin to express how much I miss him now and cling to the belief that he is with me somehow because I cannot bear the thought of him not getting to see my precious Maggie walk and talk. (Cue streaming tears and more pain in my chest).

-- Back to safer ground ---Parenthood now shapes every minute of my day and every painful breath.  I hold a maze of logistics in my head to keep us all together and properly prepared.  I hold snuggly, wiggly bodies and explain the necessity of socks.  I do not wear a suit everyday anymore or meet face-to-face with clients, but I do track down blankets and wander with my headset chatting with my colleagues long-distance.  I have watched the pains of the incredible love of parenthood as my sister and her husband waited for their baby's surgery.  I have felt the fear of possible unknown birth defects while bearing my own son and the joy of knowing he was fine.  I have experienced the loss of a miscarriage and the joy of a big healthy, happy baby girl.  I have cringed and cried over my children's injuries and laughed as they tickle my feet.  I embrace the daily complexities and the joys of the exceptional moments.  Parenthood is, for me, one of life's most incredible blessings that I get to share with the love of my life and the children we've brought into this world.  As with most blessings, there is risk of great pain, but I would not trade it not even in the flailing fits of two-year old wackiness for life without.  We all make choices and this is not always possible and is not part of everyone's dream, but it is part of my truly amazing life.

I am so thankful for parenthood, for my children, my parents and for the friends that I get to share the experience with.  Welcome Palfreymans to a wild and wonderful ride.  We love you!

Thankful Thursdays

This is week five in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: Veterans 

I think Veterans' Day has been particularly well-observed this year.  All day long I heard personal stories on the radio, read tributes online and thought about those in my own family that served.  I believe that serving one's country is an incredible gift to the entire nation.  I am so proud of those in my family that have served and that continue to serve.  My cousin Jason is a fighter pilot in the Air Force and a Veteran.  My Grandfather served as a Marine in WWII.  Despite the difference in age the imprint of their service marks each clearly and has helped shaped the men they have become. I love them both.  I send my great thanks out to our family veterans and to those many hundreds of thousands that I don't know.  Thank you for keeping us safe, protecting our country and fighting to preserve this incredible nation.  

Thankful Thursday

This is week four in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: little things

We are now through day four of our 30 Days of Gratitude and I'm finding that we're focusing on little daily things more than I'd thought.  Today's list, for instance, includes: the oven, bread, games, pajamas, and crayons.  Most things on our lists are like this - the things that are simple and in our daily life.  Here are a few:

Cheeze-Its - We volunteered to bring Cheeze-its for B's class snacks.  In the process of buying and bringing them I discovered that B is apparently a big fan.  This made me a bit teary, of all things, because my Dad LOVED Cheeze-Its.  It was great as it allowed me an opportunity to tell a story about my Dad to my son and draw a connection between them.

Homemade Bread - My Mom taught me how to make homemade bread sometime when I was in college, but I didn't really master it until later when I was far from home.  Now, I think I make a pretty good batch.  B wanted cinnamon rolls after our flu shots this week and we made extra dough.  We ended up with a loaf of bread, a dozen cinnamon rolls and a dozen or so ranch burgers.  They have been amazing dinners, snacks and breakfast for my family in the last two days.  I enjoy making it and enjoy watching my kids make the bread with me and eat the fruit of our labors.

Scrapbooking - I've been making an effort to squeeze in some crafting everyday.  It tends to help me cam down enough to sleep and seems to help improve my overall balance.  Of course it has the extra benefit of preserving our families memories in a lovely way as well as joining me to an amazing community of other scrapbookers. Most of all it makes me happy

I do have one very big thing to be thankful for this week.  In case you haven't heard --- My Brother Is Moving Back to Oklahoma!!!  How exciting is that? He will be back in early December and I am so excited.  

Hope you have a lovely week and take the time to be thankful for the big AND little things.

Vote!

You know you want to. I did it with two wriggly kids and was the only person that appeared to be less than forty with most pushing 80.  Where is our generation? (I'm hoping at work and that they will show up later). For today, I am so thankful that I live in a democracy and that I have the right to peacefully vote for what I believe in even when most of those around me disagree.

Have any fun voting stories? I'd love to hear them.  If not, just let me know you voted as each one brightens my day!

Gratitude

For the last four Thursdays, I have been posting "Thankful Thursday" submissions each week to help shift my focus towards Thankfulness for all the blessings in my life even though it has been a very difficult fall.  Beginning on Monday I am spreading the Gratitude Project to our entire family.  I want to teach my children about the importance of gratitude and giving thanks for their blessings beyond the routine "thank you."  I also want to increase our collective awareness of the beauty, richness, and blessing that is our daily life.

To try and keep our project on track and have a more tangible way of expressing our thanks,  we have created our "30 Days of Gratitude" Calendar from Jessica Sprague.  It was on sale for only a $1 a few weeks ago and contains printable files and instructions for a month long daily observance of gratitude. I admit that actually assembling the project did lead to some ungracious feelings on my part.  It essentially requires assembling thirty pockets and tags -- including printing, cutting, adhering (I used glue lines, of course), threading ribbon etc.  Of course given my frustration with repetitive tasks this was not a good fit for me, but B jumped in to help with the final phases which helped enormously.

It is cute and we have our pockets assembled which will hopefully help keep us going. Tomorrow, we will hang ribbons with the pockets on them somewhere in our living room (where M can't reach) and begin having a daily moment where we gather and write down our five things we are thankful for.  The idea is that it will be five different things each day recorded on the corresponding note card, but we will see.  I'm not sure how well we'll do with remembering each day, but we're going to do our best.

Before beginning assembly of the calendar, I purchased the 30 Days of Gratitude Mini-Album file set as well (this weekends $1 Hybrid project).  It includes spaces for all our cards and places for pictures of things we are grateful for as well as quotes.  I'm hoping it is a bit less repetitive than the pockets project, but am holding off starting assembling it for a week or so as other things need attention first.

I'm throwing all this out there just as some ideas for contemplating gratitude all month long.  I have a few other projects and posts planned for this month and Thankful Thursdays will continue through Thanksgiving as well. I find I am seeking grace and awareness of life's gifts in this phase of life and November seems the perfect time to build it into our days in a more concrete way.  I hope you will join me and welcome any ideas you have for other Thanksgiving ideas or crafts as we focus on the important theme underlying the big feast. (I'll likely have some recipes to share as well as we near the feast).  Have a wonderful week!

Thankful Thursday

This is week four in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: Technology

 

 It has been a week of marvels.  The incredible skill of Zane's surgeon, the incredible prayer surrounding baby Zane and our family, and more.  As I sat with baby Z post-op not noticing all the technology in the room was nearly impossible.  The amazing technology that helps the surgeon apply his refined skills.  The social media that allowed my brother and I to send out updates minute by minute via Twitter, Facebook and my blog.  My sister and Mom blogged re-caps each day.  The news from us and support from you all flowed quickly and each of us, I think, felt better for it.   It was amazingly different than the situation for the family when they started doing this surgery 50+ years ago.  I can only imagine how the technology is helping the Doctors.  In this surgery Zane was part of a test group for yet another possible improvement in the drugs/procedures.  I am so thankful for all these changes, improvements and benefits to our family and others.

Technology is huge in my every day life too.  It allows me to continue work in DC from OK.  It facilitates my teaching from half the continent away.  It is helping us teach B how to read, problem solve and learn about the wider world.  We can download any music we want anytime and almost anywhere.  The iPad makes my trips so much more fun and even helps me craft.  The internet brings so many new ideas and opportunities including some of those mentioned here. 

As usual, I try to be balanced in these things. I know there are downsides.  For instance, perhaps B could use more time outside and a bit less Wii at age three.  We continue to work on it.  We continue to strive for balance, but, for today, I am so thankful for technology and all its gifts.

Thanks to all of you as well for your continuing prayers, kindness and support.

Thankful Thursday

This is week three in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: Blankets

Random enough for you?  I've been thinking a lot about blankets in our life today as I worked with one wrapped around my feet and found that I am so thankful for them.  I, of course, am a scrapbooker, but most of the women before me in our family made/make blankets, including my Mom and Sister.  The majority are quilts.  Quilts filled with love and fabrics that are part of our family story.  The blankets I use most at my house are quilts made of my old t-shirts from college and another made of flannel taken from my Mom, Dad's and Brother's clothes (my sister was a teenager when this was made and refused to contribute).  The later is particularly poignant just now as I remember my Dad as I touch the flannel.  My mom made both quilts and gave me the flannel one for college graduation.  It was a little funny that day as it was so incredibly hot that we all almost had a heat stroke, but it is very special to me.  

My kids, as everyone knows, are blanket obsessed too.  B still sleeps with the blue blanket Zach's Mom (Amy) sent him as a baby.  It was so fluffly, soft and blue then.  Now, despite frequent washings it is much less so.  It has a hole where it had to be cut off his finger.  It is terribly loved.  We attempted with M to get her to bond with two blankets so we didn't have to take one everywhere.  She has, however, chosen her favorite that we now take to and from Ms. Courtney's house daily.  It is the multi-hued pastel blanket my sister crocheted for her.  She does also sleep at night with the pink blanket Amy made, but the purple Aunt Audra blanket is her true love.

I have other special quilts around too.  For instance, my Grandma Dotter, just before she died, gave me a patriotic red, white and blue blanket that she made in 1976 to celebrate the bicentennial as her congratulations for graduating law school.  It is gorgeous and was, I believe, on a magazine cover of some kind. B has an amazing postage stamp quilt that my mom painstakingly made for him incorporating Oklahoma history as he was born in its centennial year.  I have a blanket that Anna Jo, one of my college roomies, made for me when I got married.  We use it often in the summer and love that it is made of fabrics I picked and that she took the time do make it for us.  We have blankets for each of our kids made by Chrissie and another for Maggie tied by Sarah and her mom.  I even have one quilt I made in grade school at summer camp.  

We have more crocheted by Audra and many others made by family friends and a soft white one that Grammy gave B, but that M has used much more. (M has a huge hamper full in her room that keeps most of the kid blankets together).  We have two precious quilts made by my maternal and paternal great-grandmothers that are, for now, carefully in my cedar chest.  The yellow one made for me by a woman I never got to meet, but who was eagerly anticipating my birth.  The pink one, that I used frequently in college, was made by a sweet lovely woman named Harriet that was my Grandma Dotter's mother.  I have memories of her and pictures of us together in the short time we shared this space.   My mother has dozens more blankets from both sides of our family as well as ones that she has made.

I love and am thankful for our blankets at their most basic because they keep my family warm. They also, however, keep us feeling safe and keep us wrapped in our family's story which makes them doubly wonderful.  I am so thankful for them on all counts.

Thankful Thursday

This is week two in our Thankful Thursday installments:

I am thankful for: My Amazing Husband

Trip weeks always remind me what an amazing husband I have.  Me being gone all week requires a lot of logistics, coordination and work on his part.  This week it means missing his own job to watch our kids most afternoons because our babysitter is unavailable.  It also means feeding, cleaning, playing and disciplining our kids on his own with some gracious help from his parents today.  He does this without complaint even though these logistics and keeping all of the complicated scheduling, timing and who needs what involved in his head is not his strong suit and being a lone parent is hard and challenging.
On Monday, as it was time to leave, I was behind.  Things at work needed my attention, but I needed to get to the airport.  The morning had been chaos.  I was under a lot of pressure from all directions and just frustrated with my situation.  In less than the 30 minutes it took us to have lunch Brent had pulled me gently back to calm, relaxed and almost confident that it would all, in fact, be OK.  He is great at reminding me of my own abilities, the good parts of the day/situation and always exudes confidence in me. 

For the last month he has held me as I cried, given me space when I need it and let me do whatever it takes to pull myself back together even while I watch him mourn too. 

He is an amazing father.  I adore watching him with our kids and seeing how much they adore him.  His arrival home at the end of the day is definitely the high point for all of us. 

I love that we are equals and partners in all things.  I'm discovering that not everyone's marriages work like this.  I love that he loves me for me exactly who I am.  I am so thankful that we are a team and both all in.  We parent together, work together, play together and prefer being together to most anything.  I feel so blessed and so loved.  Thank you Brent for continuing to help make my dreams a reality.  I love you and am so thankful to share my life with you.

Thankful Thursdays

Once upon a time this blog routinely featured Love Thursday, but somewhere along the way I stopped doing them.  Lately, I've been thinking about how quickly I let my days fall into frustration or unhappiness over little things and how long it takes me to pull it.  It bothers me. I used to be better at letting the little things slide by.  Granted, I am in a much more emotional place right now, but want to find my way back to a focus on happiness and gratitude.  Today, I read my mom and sister's blog posts as they pondered a month without my living in our midst (I have to believe he is "with" us so I choose my words carefully).  There are so many regrets I have, many of which Audra mentioned.  However, I want to move away from regrets and on to gratitude, if I can (tears, so many tears).  Coincidentally, Elle's Studio's Blog is hosting "Thankful Thursdays" every Thursday in October and November.  That seems a manageable length of time to me and better than just one week a year but not as daunting as every week. I'm going to keep it simple and focus on little thing and invite you to join me in thankfulness if you like.

I am thankful for: Photographs

I am working on collecting photos for the "Me: The Abridged Version" and am frequently drawn off to other cool images in my collection.  I had a heart stopping moment where I thought I only had 32 pictures of my Dad from the last three years, but luckily it was a search error.  I really have close to 1000 tagged in my collection which is sort of comforting and I know my siblings probably have hundreds more.  I don't always think of him as the most cheerful man as he was often so stressed or sleepy or worried, but in my photographs he so often is.  As I flipped through I came upon picture after picture of smiles and hugs.  There is an amazing picture of him standing by my house helping build our garden and so many other smiling faces looking back at me in this trove of treasures.  I am thankful for digital cameras and the luxury to be able to instantly pull every picture he is tagged in if I want to and have a 800 smiles.  I am so thankful for what I have, what we had, and that there are tangible images and not just my sometimes cloudy memory.  I'm not yet ready to scrapbook these things, really, almost too much pressure, but I am starting to be ready to look and maybe smile back now and then.   For now, I am thankful.

Crying.... still.