As is my tradition, it seems, I took some 1st day of child care pictures with the little guy this morning. This outfit literally lasted long enough for us to walk in the babysitter's door before he had a blow out and got new clothes. That was after I got lost in her neighborhood without her actual address... not my most awesome parenting moment, but about as bad as it got today.
I did manage to get all three kids dressed, fed, and packed out the door by 8:35 and completed drop-offs by 9:32. Yes, you read that right, almost precisely an hour by the time I made it back to my house. At no time during that cycle was I more than 3 miles from my house. It is so odd. First, I drove up and dropped off B at the curb with the "Dolphin Squad." Then, I did the getting lost, finding the babysitter, dropping off all of E's things bit with M. M was very sad and hesitant as we dropped him off. I think she was worried that she might stay too. E seemed fine and full of big smiles as we left. I hear he was happy and on his normal routine all day. M was dropped of last and the very first mom to see us was her friend C's mom who immediately remarked on my lack of the small one today. Sigh.
Then work -- lots of working through electronics, email, debriefings meetings and then time to start the cycle again. M is picked up first, then E who was hanging out with Ms. K, still grooving to classical music reverberating through her immaculate house with two other kids napping nearby. We went home for awhile before the next pick-up. E didn't look at me in the face for a few minutes, but warmed up fairly quickly. We talked to Aunt Audra, played and then back to pick-up B. B promptly declared he wanted to try riding the bus tomorrow with his friends, which I think we'll let him try. It would be simpler for me, but I need to be sure he is OK with it, safe, happy, etc...
In short, it worked fine. Yes, I was very sad, more so every time someone asked how I was or where E was. I wasn't quite back into the flow of work today, but if I can get into the work groove I can usually compartmentalize it all fairly well with just that niggling at the back of my mind and occasional glances at my phones, wondering....
_________________________________
Aside: Random food thoughts
While I did get everyone else packed and out the door and with all their meals today I didn't quite make breakfast or lunch properly for myself. Instead, I fell back to basics of fruits and nuts (ummm and coffee-with vanilla sugar). Today's happy motherhood discovery was a kicked up version of my normal nut/seeds/dried fruit mix. I poured the various nuts and raisins we had into a small bowl and put a few shakes of what I thought was Savory Spice Red Rock Hickory Seasoning on top, but noticed it wasn't the bright red expected. Instead, it turns out I had put Black Canyon Chili Powder on top. This blend contains Black Canyon contains chile peppers, cocoa powder, garlic, toasted onion, Saigon cinnamon and Mexican oregano.
In short, in a couple accidental shakes I made spiced nuts that were awesome. I made another quick intentional snack baggie full for the pick up run in the afternoon (aka lunch as I had gotten into a meeting and missed mine). M really enjoyed it too as she that she loves spices! (Obviously). So, that was a motherhood bonus on a hectic day where food otherwise fell to the wayside. For dinner, I roasted sweet potatoes from our garden club and we girls dipped them in the Red Canyon Seasonings Dip from yesterday and called it good. The boys had pizza at the Watch D.O.G.S. (Dads of Great Students) meeting so we were all happy, if much less involved in cooking today.
_________________________________________
When I look at the day. I think it was fine. It went well. I talked to my mom, friend and brother in the evening and felt good. It is never going to be easy. I still miss E terribly during the day and wish for a thousand more of those smiles a day, but we're all OK. We are making it all work for our family and will change as we need to to make it the best we can be. For today, being together and all being OK for today was good enough
No comments:
Post a Comment